DREAMS 梦

For the first time , I feel i have a dream and i really want to make it happen . Suddenly , i found my destiny for my life . It sounds crazy . People said to me : " Jess , Are you sure ? Aren't you too old to have such this dream ?"  .

So it's been 3 months i find a way to realize my dream . I worked very hard , and even i'm gaining my weight because i work over it ( omg ). I only told this to some people who close to me .  Well at that time i think i might have a way , i work for almost 2 months but unfortunately my mission plan A was failed . I'm not sad , i'm very sure of it , because if it is very that easy everybody will go on my plan A. The reality only 3 out of 10 people will sucess on the plan A.  I'm a realistic type , i don't want to hope too much because it might be hurt if i'm fell down .

My plan was failed , it not very easy like i think . Because i feel like the doors seems like open but when come closer it is closed for now . So it's like i have 1000 plan ,1 only will work , 3 is probably work,the rest is don't working temporarily . It's totally make me desperate.  And it make me more even desparate when i found the another way might be work but it need a lot of money , most of problem comes because of money . For the first time ever in my life , i feel for saving money is very important , and i have to keep my money to realize my dreams . The second problem it can't work if you not sacrifice your time . Money ! Time ! . I don't have much time even for my private life and i'm thinking oh gosh , you still want me to sacrifice my time ?? I'm very frustating .

God seems don't care with me . But somehow , it is crazy , God make me very frustating to searching a way , but he still make me alive. When i lack of money , at least i'm not dying . When i don't want pray , i don't even want to read bible , he still bless me .  At some point , i believe he is there , but it feels he pretending not to care about me right now .

It's still long way to go .... Long way to go but short in a lifetime .

Dear readers , you know what , at least i still have a dream , it's far better  than people who making money everyday but she don't know what will she do with money , or where she will go , at least  it's far better than people who don't have a direction what she will do.

So what i want to say for now ...


At least you have a dream , then you can live...

go for it , work for it , and don't think anything negative about it ..We never know the future.